Decisions

I was often confident in my decision making, & most of the time showing people that I am confuse because wanted to show that I respect others to show that I am fair in handling situation. I often make solid decisions in handling Job, friends, & colleagues; but things often go wrong when it comes to family & relationship. Until today, I am still haunted by my friend's advises. Why is it sooooo difficult to make a decision like this? The words from my friend stunts me 'The longer you drag, you might loss both. You might as well as choose one & go for it". Is it the matter of time? Is it the matter of her? Or is it me afraid of losing?

The Road

I had been walking & walking for nearly 2 years on the same road trying to search for things that i want. But until today, i still can't find 'IT'. Initially, I am so confident this road will lead me to what I wanted; but it seems like I was wrong. During the journey, I face a lot of resistances such as nails, road blocks, difficult terrain and blocking warning signs often create & put by the road itself. Small & extreme injuries are on me during I walk through the road which causes me to almost give up. However, the road itself also being  damage & 'hurt' by me during the journey & often lead me to starting point. Sometimes, the road itself will clear the resistances along the road & again 'IT' lead me back from where I started. 

I ever heard some people use the same road that I use which easily found what they want easily, but cause the road itself hurts. It seems like the road has been 'bias' all the time. Recently, I had seriously & honestly questioned the road by my own on why it treat me 'bias'. Finally, the road tells me the reasons & secrete that 'IT' has been hiding all the time. The road itself told me that what 'IT' told me is true & bottom of its heart, although there are not many solid & obvious proofs. 

I am getting tired & exhausted after walking this road for quite some time. Friends around me often scolded me badly for choosing such a road although there are still a lot of road out there I am able to choose. I often question myself 'Why I am such a stupid & being loyal to this road although treat badly by the road?', & stupid but honest answer that often appears in my mind is 'I like and love this road'. 

After all these time, I have finally decide to look for another road that I will find the things that I wanted. Until recently, I have finally found another road that may lead me to what I wanted. I will still carry on to use the initial road that I used all these time together with the new road to try find the things that I want because I realize that the initial road can't provide any guarantee & security for me.